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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Sorry, Your Redneck Wedding isn't Elegant

Just own your what your wedding is. Stop pretending.

So, I belong to a Facebook group that is an offset of the popular WeddingWire forums. The group is used primarily for women reselling their used wedding items after their wedding. Its a great place right now if you love burlap, lace and DIY wooden signs (which is on trend with everyone's love of the rustic wedding). The group is an interesting assortment of women from all walks of life, having weddings of all themes, colors and budgets. Everyone is looking for a a good deal and the admins keep vendors off the page, which is pretty refreshing. I've never personally purchased anything but I enjoying see the posts from a fly on the wall perspective more than anything.

Usually, I keep my mouth shut when someone posts "like real" blue plastic roses or tries to sequin table runners for twice retail price, alas a post caught my eye over the weekend that I just couldn't ignore.

So many feelings about this post. I just could not even. Then shade got thrown. It happened. I'm not proud of it, but seriously, people need to just own their wedding choices and stop pretending to be something they are not.

The definition of Redneck is:

1. an uneducated white farm laborer, especially from the South.
2. a bigot or reactionary, especially from the rural working class.
Tell me what a theme with that definition looks like. It doesn't event make sense. Is the wedding on a farm? Will there be racial slurs in the vows? Banjos playing? Confederate flags?
Other group members encourages the original poster to elaborate on her "theme" ideas and she mentioned she was considering purchasing some items from the Oriental Trading Company Camo Wedding Collections.

WHY DOES THIS EXIST? Oh god. It hurts my eyes. Whatever. To each their own.

There is literally no way to have both a redneck and elegant wedding. There is not. Just no. And that is okay-- have your redneck wedding decorated in full camo print, but don't pretend its elegant.

The point of all of this is, if you're going to have a themed wedding-- own it for what it is. Don't tack on extra words because you think a wedding should be elegant, classic, timeless, fashionable-- whatever it is. Take your redneck wedding and own it-- whatever it is.

I'm totally guilty of this with the descriptive term Avant Garde. Most people don't even know what this means, so for those who don't, it means "new and unusual or experimental ideas, especially in the arts, or the people introducing them". I so badly wanted an avant garde wedding. I said it approximately 700 times when looking for a wedding dress. 

Let me show you what Avant Garde wedding dresses look like in practice:

 Can I just say that I am absolutely not looking to wear an Avant Garde wedding dress? In the end, I chose a wedding dress that was most certainly not Avant Garde, but was my style-- whatever that style is categorized as. I think I picked a unique, classic wedding dress that looks like me and reflects my style, but its a wedding dress....not something off a runway.

That said, nothing about my wedding is Avant Garde. I've accepted this even thought I regularly used the word to describe what I wanted in a wedding at the beginning. I'm learning to own the fact that I'm having a pretty traditional wedding, with a bit of my own flare, but you'll definitely know you're at a wedding...there isn't any experimental bikram ceremony yoga, a bridal march played by didgeridoos, no bridal party fashion show or otherwise off beat, Avant Garde aspects.

So, I stopped calling my wedding Avant Garde and owned it. Its my traditional, royal fairytale wedding. That's the theme. No better or worse than "redneck", but it is what it is. I'm not pretending its anything else.

Its your wedding, do what you want. Not everyone is going to love it. I will never be encouraging of including camo in a wedding, but that's what great about planning your wedding-- you get to do you! Whatever you want! Its your day. So do it. Own it and have no regrets.

But seriously, no camo.


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