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Friday, April 3, 2015

Shed reveals how to be a great bride and even better bridesmaid.

Thanks to my funniest friend/fellow blogger/bridemaid Shed for taking over today. 

She's the best.


Hello! Bridesmaid Shed, here. I’m by no means as seasoned a bridal attendant as the {Not So} Single Girl, but I got married in 2013, and now I’m honored to be a member of our favorite wedding blogger’s bridal party. So, today I am going to teach you 5 ways to be a great bride, or an excellent bridesmaid!

1. Bridal party honors are not tit-for-tat. If you were in a friend’s wedding 10 years ago, and you don’t have the same relationship today, you do not need to ask her to be your bridesmaid. There is nothing wrong with that. Also, everyone’s bridal party is different. Some brides only have relatives as bridesmaids, while others have a mix of friends and relatives, or just friends. Some brides have no attendants at all. If the bride decides to have only her sisters or cousins in her wedding party, do not take offense even if you are close friends. Who comprises the bridal party is the bride’s decision.

2. Both brides and potential bridesmaids need to remember this: Don’t assume. Brides: Don’t assume that someone knows they are in your wedding. Potential bridesmaids: Don’t assume you are in someone’s wedding. It’s very important to formally ask someone to be in your wedding party. If the bride or the potential bridesmaid is unsure, it can create an awkward situation.

3. Planning a wedding is stressful enough; a bride does not want flaky attendants to make things more complicated. If you’re not sure that you can fulfill your duties as a bridesmaid, due to time or money constraints, be sure to give the bride a clear answer as early as possible.

If you are asked to be a bridesmaid, but ultimately decide that you are unable to, there are many other ways you can be involved in your friend or relative’s wedding. You can do a reading during the ceremony, you can act as an usher and help guests find seats, or you can escort a grandparent down the aisle. Your friend may ask you to give a toast at the reception. There’s an infinite number of ways you can be a special part of a wedding; just talk to the bride. She will appreciate whatever you two come up with, whether you help her pick out décor, or simply attend the wedding as a guest.

4. Bridesmaids, think of the bride as your boss, and you’re her employee during the wedding planning process. Hopefully you like the bride a little more than you like your boss at work! Either way, remember, the bride is dealing with a lot of stress, and needs you to help her, not make things more stressful. Be sure to occasionally ask, “What can I do to help?” She’ll be glad you did, even if the answer for the moment is “nothing.”

5. Also remember that you’re going to be part of the bride’s wedding memories forever. If you’re mad at each other the day of the wedding for some reason, she will remember that every time she looks her wedding photos. Speaking of photos, if you plan to make any extreme changes to your appearance right before the wedding, it’s best to make sure the bride is okay with it. She may love your new green ombre hair, but it’s always important to ask first.

Keep open communication with the bride, and the rest of the bridesmaids to make sure everyone is happy on the day of the wedding. Don’t be disappear and be unreachable. Don’t complain about the dress, shoes, venue, order of the processional, etc. You’ve been asked to be in this wedding because you are an important part of the bride’s life, and you should respect her choices. It’s her wedding, after all. However, you should be able to talk out any major concerns. If you can’t afford to go to Cancun for a bachelorette weekend or to buy Jimmy Choo shoes for the wedding, talk to the bride about it. Any reasonable bride will understand and help you work something out.

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