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Friday, December 5, 2014

Always the bridesmaid, even when I'm a bride...

So, this blog was started because I was single and all my friends were getting married. Over the past couple of years, I have played a role in more than 7 weddings and attended more than 12 weddings. I expect to see this number rise over the next 5 years as more of my friends reach milestones in their life.

That said, when I got engaged in October, I was very excited to finally be the brides because I have some 27 dresses status shit going on in my closet (no, I have never re-worn a bridesmaid dress, no matter how cute it was for the wedding). What I did not predict when I got engaged was that I would be taking on several other important roles in 2015 as well.

First, I'd like to mention that my Matron of Honor, Amy, and Groomsman, Jared, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on December 3rd. I've been bestowed the title of Godmother to little Summer Elizabeth, which is a huge honor after being Maid of Honor in their wedding just a little over a year ago. Something I knew was happening (clearly had 9 months to prepare), but was surprised at how excited I am to see that little girl over the holidays. I'm not a huge baby person, but I'm willing to make the exception for that cute little thang.

Second, I got asked to be a bridesmaid in my dear friend, Sasha's wedding over 4th of July weekend in Chicago. I was so surprised, but excited at the opportunity, but I had to be realistic with myself as to what it means to be a bridesmaid while also being the bride in my own pending nuptials. Was I ready to be both the Bridezilla we know and love AND bridesmaidzilla?

Nikki in her true form: Bridezilla and Bridesmaidzilla
I have to consider my relationship with the bride. While we have admittedly not been particularly close over the past couple of years due to my relocation to Phoenix, for almost a decade Sasha was one of my best friends who I spent a lot of time with. Even now, we make the effort to get together, even just for breakfast, whenever I'm in town. She has always been my cheerleader, no matter what bad decision I was planning to make. I absolutely felt honored to stand by her side on her wedding day.

What do I have to offer the Bride? Since I am far away from my hometown and also planning my own inconvenient wedding from afar, I have to expect I will not be able to make special trips for the bridal shower and bachelorette party, but will do my best to plan multiple activities on multiple weekends. To be clear, I want to be there but it is expensive and I have a big ass wedding of my own to pay for. I can only do my best.

What I will be lacking in physical presence, I have promised to make up for in advice, direction and opinions for the bride. Unlike myself, Sasha has been blissfully un-submerged in wedding culture up until this point. I sometimes wonder what sleep was like before I had wedding nightmares, primarily not about my own wedding. I wonder what possibilities my closet would hold without a rainbow of chiffon and satin dresses and if there is a year I will not awake dizzy with champagne after a night of twerking (lezbehonest-- never!!!) Sasha has no idea of the pain and anguish involved in wedding planning. The minute details that can basically ruin your whole day (OR YOUR ENTIRE WEDDING?!).

But I will teach her and help her and do all I can to make sure she never has to learn those lessons the hard way, because I've watched them and am now experiencing them myself.

That's all I can promise to do as her bridesmaid. Be present. Be helpful. Do my best.

So, that's it. I'm a bride and I'm a bridesmaid in 2015. Both happily unexpected. Going to be a very busy year for this lady, that's for sure. This weekend, I have an appointment to try on a wedding dress (yes, just one) followed by an appointment to try on bridesmaid dresses.

Call me crazy, but I'm thrilled to in this wedding world. Some things don't change, no matter how much life is changing for us.

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