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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

WTF Wednesday: Roommate Search 2013

Roommate Search 2013 has commenced.

My lease is up at the end of June and my roommate and I will be parting ways. This is a serious pain in the ass mainly because I have to a.) buy everything that isn't bedroom or bathroom furniture, b.) find a new roommate or double my rent, c.) move 200+ pairs of high heels.

So, of course, my first course of action was to completely overreact to the pending move. 

And then I called my mom and begged her to allow me to move home and hide from reality.


Because I have basically lived an entirely too cushy life, I have next to no coping skills with any small road bump in my life. I blame you, Mom and Dad. Thanks for spoiling me so rotten than I have failed to launch into an emotionally stable adult. Just kidding. Love you both (they read this). 


For the past 3 days, I've gone violent mood swings, emotional outbursts, apathy and finally arrived at actually doing something to relieve the immense anxiety I feel around the situation. So, I did what any sane human would do and posted an ad on Craigslist in search of a roommate. 

This was the first message I received in response:
GOD DAMMIT, CRAIGSLIST.

Needless to say, I did get many other normal responses. I even went on a potential roommate "date" with a very nice 26 year old bartender who's original from Springfield, Illinois and move out here in 2010 last night. He's a potential for sure, although I am hoping a friend from work will come through as roommate material first. 

Meeting a potential roommate is awkward as hell. Especially when they're of the opposite sex. While I am a predator, I am most certain I can keep my drunk and cuddly hands off a male roommate. C'mon guys, gimme some credit. But seriously, you go and meet this person. You want them to like you so much they want to live with you and you want to feel the same, but then, you have to realize there is ZERO RELATIONSHIP POTENTIAL EVER, because this isn't season 135 of the Real World and you just don't hook up with your roommate. 

So, its like all the nervous, giddy feelings of a first date BUT its the ANTI- date, because there's no romantic outcome. Do you shake hands? Do you hug? How does one do this? I just recently mastered the art of the first date in the adult world and now I have to also take on these potential roommate meeting anti-dates? 

THERE IS NO GOD. My life is a disaster-- if its not my romantic life, its something else. Things would be so boring otherwise. I wouldn't have it any other way.

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