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Thursday, March 7, 2013

WTF Wednesday: The End of Days is Here. The Dating Apocalypse Has Occured.

The End of Days is Here. 

The Dating Apocalypse Has Occurred.

Its true. God has given me a sign that I should entirely give up on dating. Forever. I might as well get my 100's of cats now and become a spinster. This is my life. Its real. You can't MAKE this stuff up.

So, I went on a Match.com date with this guy.Masters degree, job in Finance, good photos, nice bio, common interests... Looks great on paper...famous last words. So, we make plans to go to dinner after exchanging a few messages. I'm literally in the parking lot, walking in when he texts me and is like BTW, I use crutches to walk because I was born with Cerebral Palsy.

Okay, here's where everyone is going to think I'm a huge asshole (again, this isn't new) but seriously, don't you think you should disclose a life altering disability before you go on a date with someone. I show up, and he's straight crippled. Like not a limp, but like back breaking, non-use of legs. Also, a fairly severe speech impediment.

Now, before you get all crazy on me and call me a bitch, I ALREADY FEEL TERRIBLE. He was a super nice guy. He's very accomplished and such, but I feel like I got maddddd catfished. A disability is a huge responsibility to take on, a life altering one for both parties involved. I think its a bit rude not to mention that before a first date and let it be a huge surprise. Then, its the elephant in the room for the entire length of the dinner.

I don't know the rules on that kind of thing. Like I know you're not suppose to discuss ex's on a first date but can you discuss how the hell you manage to drive a car with 95% limited use of your legs? Is that an awkward question? Because I really do want to know.

I KNOW that what counts is what's inside, personality, whatever, but I am selfish and I just can't do it. I just can't take that on in my life. I can barely manage to walk, talk, go to work, do my laundry and remember to eat in any given week...I can't be sensitive to someone else's issues right now. I got my own shit to figure out.

So, that's that. I got catfished by a guy with Celebral Palsy on Match.com. All of his photos are convienently cropped at the waist. Now I see why.

Call me what you life. I just can't. I just can't believe its come down to this. This is a sign.
TIME TO TAKE A BREAK FROM DATING.

2 comments:

  1. I am a huge advocate for the special needs community, but I do agree with you that you were catfished. I think that he should have at least disclosed his CP before the date, but I think that if you had spoken to him before the date and if he would have disclosed it, you owed it to him to at least try it out. I'm glad that you stuck it out, and if it's such a huge issue for you, the best thing to do is to not date him anymore. You don't have to tell him the reason is because he did not disclose his disability to you and that you felt blindsided, but I think it's fair to both of you to not see him again if you're not willing to be 100% in it for another date. I don't think that makes you a horrible person.

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  2. He should have told you in the beginning. As a person living with Cerebral Palsy I can understand why you wouldn't want to "cut yourself off at the knee" by displaying disadvantage to a girl you want to date. However, that doesn't absolve the fact the he was inconsiderate. The shock value would be equally the same had you had like a huge birthmark or something. A white lie is still a lie, and that is a doosy. Being disabled, is a son of a bitch. It changes everything you do. And I'm sorry but people will look at you differently. How naïve to expect that you would have been able not to react. What if he would have fallen down and then you have to assist him through that without having the slightest idea of what to do? It is embarrassing to both parties. It is a scrutiny that people have to accept. It is up to the person with the disability to adapt, and that includes making arrangements to prepare new people in how to deal with you. A debriefing, I guess at least that's how I look at it. And it doesn't make you an asshole to decline to pursue a relationship with this person. It makes you honest.

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