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Wednesday, December 5, 2012

WTF Wednesday: I'm a natural Zombie slayer, so you're probably going to want to stick with me in the Zombie Apocalypse (aka this is also a date review)

Today, I shot a big gun, so now I'm really ready for Zombie Apocalypse. Seriously.

So, in the spirit of WTF Wednesday, I went out and did something new and amazing today, best of all, it was also a date. TWO BLOGS, ONE STONE.

Now, most of you who know me in real life know that I have an obsessive and slightly bizarre obsession with the pending Zombie Apocalypse. We can credit College Ex Boyfriend with this obsession because he is the one who started me on zombie movies, zombie books and therefore, zombie plans. Everyone should have one. There's a really epic photo of College Ex Boyfriend trying to zombie bite my neck, but I can't find it and I'm fairly upset about that. Anyways, even today, College Ex Boyfriend and I have maintained that our plan is THE plan, and we'd meet up at Fort Reno in DC and take on the zombies. Unfortunately, I now live across the country and I'm not trying to get eaten by Zombie getting back to DC, so while that plan may work long term, I decided to work on some skillz so I can ensure my survival. 

Luckily, I met Derek, who you may remember at Outback Steakhouse Guy from previous blog posts. I may have called him fat, he's not fat. Oh, and he read that blog post and STILL agreed to see me after that without ever being like "HEY REMEMBER THAT REALLY RUDE BLOG POST YOU WROTE". So, super major points for that. Now, I'm the asshole. Fuck. 

Anyways, Derek has some guns because we live in Arizona where everyone has guns and although it terrifies me in a big way, apparently its a cool hobby to have. We met up mid afternoon to do some shooting at the Scottsdale Gun Club, which is mostly frequented by old me with hand guns wearing loafers and hawaiian shirts. It is Scottsdale.

Derek made a reservation and all. Planning ahead, impressive. He patiently showed me all the parts of the gun and how to make it do stuff, which I prompted did not listen to at all because I was so jittery and anxious about shooting things. Note: I have never held a gun before.

Derek recently bought this huge crazy gun thing with a scope and stuff. He also brought some bogus ass looking hand gun that I promptly hated and only wanted to use the big, fancy gun. Derek also bought Zombie targets to shoot at. How romantic is he? So romantic. He's also incredibly nice and patient as I freaked out about every 30-35 seconds a shot was fired on the range. Its really loud, even with the little headphone things on. He let me play plenty and take lots of shots and taught me how to use the little buttons that move the target. I appreciated that, because he easily could've let me fire two shots and done the rest himself and I would've probably been fine with it. I feel like he was really pushing me to hone my Zombie shooting skills and take me to the next level of my Zombie Plan.

Here's a photo of me shooting the big, scary gun with the pretty scope:

Here's a photo of my sweet dead ass Zombie target. Notice all the shots to the brain. I'm a natural born Zombie slayer OBVIOUSLY:

Here's a photo of Derek pouting because I shot some many more Zombies in the head than he did:

Overall, this was basicallyyyyy the most fun I've had on a date SINCE I became single from the Ex. That says a lot. I seriously can't think of anyone who I would've rather done this with because I was kind of a basket case (per always) and he makes me feel super comfortable whatever we're doing. I don't know why, but its true. Watch out College Ex, you've been edged out of the Zombie Plan.

 I don't really know where Mr. Derek's head is, but I know where MY head is right now and its ALL ABOUT this awesome pink BB gun I found at Walmart while grocery shopping today.  



  1. Yeah he's def not fat you loon :) also, seems like a pretty awesome dude to me. (though please tell me he just likes guns & isn't a crazy conservative....tho I am married to one so I probs shouldn't judge...)

  2. I KNOW HE'S NOT. I made a mistake. I SAID SORRY. And yes he is a great guy...and I don't believe him to be a crazy conservative (shockingly), just another gun loving Arizona gent.

  3. Come join Matt and I in the event of a zombie apocalypse! We have lots of guns(Iowans and general and us too!) Unfortunately we are for sure going to get eaten because I don't think either of us would ever leave the dogs behind, and they'd definitely alert the zombie horde to our whereabouts... On second thought, stay in AZ with the man with the fancy gun! p.s. Matt said he liked the picture of you with the fancy gun- I think he called it a proper name, but I like fancy gun better.