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Monday, October 8, 2012

Manic Mondays: Tales of Psycho Ex Girlfriend--- Two Shirts, One Greg

Two Shirts, One Greg

Welcome back to an all new Manic Monday: Tales of  a Psycho Ex Girlfriend. Its been a few days since we were all here together, as my mother was in town for a long weekend, finally visiting me in my "new home" (aka I've almost lived here for a full year???). Anyways, we had a blasty blast running around Scottsdale and hanging out. I miss being close to here. Here we are in the mall across from my condos. She's a good lookin' lady, eh?

Anyways, so I'm back for a few days before my little Phi Mu sister, Rachel, comes into town on Thursday. We're heading to California on friday for my GrandBiggie's super awesome and exciting wedding in Santa Ana...Orange County ain't gonna know what hit it. So, I am super duper excited and also excited because SGIEWW will be featuring its veryyyyyy first wedding review since I started up. (The first of many wedding reviews, I suspect). Anyways, I plan to do it 4 Weddings style, so if you've never watched the TLC Spectacular, I suspect you get with the program.

Anyways, enough about up and coming, let's get on with the juicy stuff. I was chatting with Tammy the other day and she told me I should do a Manic Monday on Gregalicious, otherwise know as College Ex #2. Greg and I dated throughout my senior year of college after I returned from Australia and broke up somewhere after I graduated. I dumped him. We both just kinda stop trying at some point and weren't really on the same page, although my family loved the shit out of him. Anyways, it wasn't a nasty break up-- we just ended up and moved on, never really looked back.

With Tammy's request in mind, I tried to think of ANYTHING cray cray that I did to Greg in the months after our break up and shockingly, I couldn't come up with A SINGLE THING for the past two weeks. Finally, I found one dramatic incident...the two shirts story.

As I said before, Greg was much beloved by my extended family. I don't blame them, as he was very charming and ultimately a lot nicer to my family than he was to me. He was extended an invitation to our mini-family reunion over 4th of July weekend at our place on the Grand Geneva Resort in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. Pretty sweet deal for him, honestly. Ain't nothing better than a weekend of amazing food and drinks and pool time on a gorgeous resort. 

We were staying in the guest room of my father's townhouse on the resort and Greg left two dress shirts hanging in the closet after the long weekend was over. I was bartending in downtown Chicago and such so I didn't have a whole hell of a lot of time to drive back to Wisconsin to get them, so my father collected them, and, if any of you know my dad, they rode around in the back of his Escalade for the next couple of months.

In the mean time, Greg and I broke up. After we broke up, Greg relentlessly begged for his dress shirts and I either ignored him completely, forwarded him my father's phone number (he was pretty terrified to approach my father on the issue) or flat out denied him the shirts. The more he wanted them, the more I wanted to withhold the damn shirts.

Eventually, my dad donated them to Good Will, but even after, Greg was still asking me for them. This went on for a good year after we were in Lake Geneva.

Like I said, I have no idea why I felt the need to withhold his dress shirts and honestly, I really don't know why he went on and on about them. They weren't THAT nice of shirts. As I said, I dumped him--- I wasn't mad or bitter or vengeful....but apparently I was since I felt the need to control the forgotten shirt situation for months on end.

I suppose if that's the most psycho thing that happened, Greg got out of my wrath pretty damn lightly. Considering the other cray cray that has recently been inflicted upon my Ex, Greg took a walk in the park and maybe skinned his knee a little, but certainly nothing to write home about. I still don't even know why I felt like these shirts were the power dynamic in our break up. I was clearly delusional about how to drive men crazy at that point...good thing I have it figured out now!

Sorry, Greg. Maybe you can use the Good Will donation on your tax write off's next year.

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