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Thursday, September 27, 2012


Don't judge me. 

So, I waited to write WTF Wednesday yesterday because I had plans to go to Happy Hour with Tiffany at Blue Martini, and usually Blue Martini always proves for a pretty great WTF in my life for one reason or another.

Wednesday at Blue Martini is Ladies' Night, so there's always heaps of dudes there and food/drinks are half off. A little about Blue Martini for those not familiar, its basically a well known sugar daddy/ cougar bar in Scottsdale, BUT its really upscale, with great food, potent cocktails, and live music every night. A band we like plays there a few nights a week as well, and since Blue Martini just across the street from where we live, its the perfect place to relax and let loose.

Feeling good and looking cute at Happy Hour
Tiffany is currently on a semester break from medical school and had a long week working in the client, doing her doctor thing. My excuse was celebratory drinks as I found out earlier this week that I won a 2-week weight loss challenge, loosing 9.6 pounds in two week! There was a small cash prize, but mostly just bragging rights. Anyways, since I am basically out of commission most of October, I figured I ought to celebrate a little now. Anything is an excuse for Blue Martini night, let's be real.

We ordered a bunch of delicious food, and started drinking our very pretty martinis. Since the drinks were half off, they were flowing quite freely and before I knew it, I was 5 martinis deep and realllyyyyy starting to feel it. As expected, there were a slew of older gentleman flocking around Tiffany and I chatting us up and offering to buy us the next round of martinis. 

A couple of gentleman stood out. The first was a Canadian business man from Toronto who kept telling me I had the best hair cut in the bar (I haven't cut it in months). He was pretty nice and since my phone was rapidly dying, he let us take these fun photos on his phone to capture our night. When the sexy, sexy guitarist from the band came over to take some shots and hang out during the set break, he sent Mr. Canadian over to talk to the lead singer of the band, who is a Lady Gaga looking lady who doesn't love to socialize with anyone during the performances. We all had a good laugh and took some more shots and Mr. Canada was laughing off our little prank. Anyways, he emailed me this morning to say thanks and that he loved my hair cut this morning. Odd.

Mr. Canadian and some pretty ladies

 Tiffany actually found the next character of the night while I was talking to this guy who runs an outsourced CFO company (much like The Ex did), but that's a story for next Manic Monday (JUST WAIT BECAUSE ITS GOING TO BE FULL OUT INSANITY). While I was involved in the conversation with the tall, bald, CFO wearing a Movado watch, Tiffany was being assaulted by these Italian guys. They were all over my pretty blonde Tiffany to dance with them. Because, as I said before, a really nice human being, she exchanged numbers with the quirky, older but kinda hot Italian dude who barely spoke English.

Shortly after he sent her this text message: 
"come to my hot tub, I make you pasta, xoxo. I like your shoes.:

Is there really anything more to be said about that. Check out the very drunken photo of me, the pasta making Italian and an equally drunk Tiffany...it was in my inbox this morning with the message from Mr. Canadian. Le sigh.

Why are we all so happy about this photo?
 Needless to say, after we paid another exorbitant bar tab, we headed out to Mellow Mushroom for a couple late night beers with Brian, the guitarist of the band that was playing at Blue Martini. Before I knew it, it was 2:30am and we were still hammered. On our way out of Mellow Mushroom (they literally were like GET OUT), we ran into the manager from Blue Martini, who goes by Cookie.

Cookie is 30, lives just across from Blue Martini, drives a total douche bag vehicle (even though he lives across the street) and is approximately 5'4 (aka the level of my nipples when I wear heels...so he's usually thrilled to see me...). He's actually a really cool guy, but for the LONGEST time he would never remember us even though we're BM regulars. Anyways, last Monday when we were there, we told him we worked at Mellow Mushroom so we could get half off food and drinks because Mondays are Industry Nights. Upon chatting with us last night, he realized our ridiculous lie, but said we were so pretty that it really didn't matter...and then handed me an Industry Night VIP card. 

After another hour of standing around chatting with Brian and Cookie, with promises of Sunday Funday and "the hook up" and how stupid the waitresses at Blue Martini are (they're basically just really fucking pretty, but really fucking stupid), we FINALLY headed home.

3:36am. Fuck. I had to be up for work at 5am. 

Needless to say, today has been the absolute most miserable day of my life. I was so hungover and exhausted that I practically fell asleep on a conference call. FUCK FUCK FUCK. Its 1pm and I'm STILL miserable. I am obviously getting really old and it is clear that I am certainly by no means a responsible adult in any way. 

Kill me.

....So, do it again next Wednesday?

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