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Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Seeking Celestial Guidance as I Approach My Quarter Life Crisis

Its not normal to talk to imaginary friends. I know that already.

So, I'm stuck in Chicago for another entire week because I believe my boss would like to make me incredible miserable. Right now, there is an absolutely terrifying thunderstorm going on, so naturally I was awoken from my sleep, and now blogging. 

I started having really vivid dreams the past few days, like I haven't had in awhile actually. I though maybe it was from all the booze I irresponsibly consumed over the holiday weekend, but its been 48 hours since my last drink and the dreams keep coming and keeping me up at night. As you may recall, I saw a psychic several weeks ago who predicted the trip to Chicago even before I knew it (and I was all, NOOO--I ain't neverrrr going to back there...alas...2 weeks later, I'm sitting here). She also told me about how the "guides" in the celestial world send me messages in my dreams because I'm too stubborn to acknowledge their signs in everyday life. She also suggested I start talking out loud to them because a.) they listen and b.) I'm not crazy enough on a regular basis so I should start talking to imaginary friends.

As my 25th birthday rapidly approaches, I get more and more anxious about the prospects of being an actual adult. This past weekend, Amy was talking about buying houses and having babies and it just totally freaked me out. How the hell did we get this old so fast? There is no doubt that I've done a ton of growing up in the past year, but seriously, 25? I remember being 16 and thinking 25 was basically old as dirt. Now, I am old as dirt and 16 year old's still think that.

The point is, I'm freaking out, so I took up my psychic's advise and have been talking to my guides...or rather, talking AT my guides. The first think I asked of them was shortly after I saw the psychic. I asked them to send me three true friends...and here I am, sitting in Chicago, in the presence of some of the greatest friends I have on earth.

So, yesterday, I was driving to work and having a nice chatty with my guides, thanking them for reminding me of all the true friends I already have in my life and cursing them for forcing me into a 3 week hiatus from life in sunny Phoenix. As I was chatting to them about this and that, telling them to keep the ladies away from Brandon in my absence and to remove the fat from ass and so on, the question of WHY certainly people stay in your life popped in my head. I can't explain why, but I got to thinking about it. I mean, I know why my good friends have stayed in my life long term---because I love them and we gots some deep roots, but why do some people you think will be in your life forever disappear for good, while others who should've been long gone stick around no matter what.

I can list a bazillion people who left my life who I figured would stick around forever, but two people in particular who have stayed in my life surprisingly are the ones I'll talk about here, since they both fairly recently resurfaced.

First, my sorority sister, Victoria, who wrote a guest blog a few weeks ago. Obviously, she is wonderful and charming and I am ever so pleased she continues to be a part of my life. However, if you would've asked me in 2010 to list the top 10 people I'd be keeping in touch with in college, Victoria maybe wasn't one of them. Don't get me wrong. The girl was sassy and smart and beautiful from the start, but being two years younger than I and transferring schools mid-sorority career, I had low hopes that we would stay in touch. 

And we didn't for the first year after I graduated, but then there was Katie's wedding in Buffalo, where we decided to split a hotel room with our mutually amazing sorority sister, Schoebie. This wedding weekend sort of brought us back together and back to talk on the reg. This blog is also a good catalyst for our relationship since I think she was my very first fan. Anyways, the point is, I was closer to a dozen or more girls in college that I rarely speak to now, yet Victoria, who I was never particularly close, is now someone I treasure talking with all the time. 

She reminds me so much of myself a few years ago, its just scary. And maybe that's our guides working together to create a mutually beneficial situation for us. I can't chalk it up to anything else but fate.

My second questionable person is my friend, Kyle. Him and I have been "friends" since I was about 15 years old. He was a major jock at a rival high school, so of course I was all over him to be my boyfriend. That never panned out but him and I shared a romantic interest in each other, of sorts, throughout my years in college and even in the year or so after I graduated college. However, he's actually kind of a total jerk. He promised to take me to his homecoming sophomore year, and cancelled the week before. He refused to buy me breakfast after a long night out drinking together even though it was pretty status quo. He wanders in and out of my life at his convenience.We fight like crazy, he says mean things, I say mean things, I ignore him for months, he just keeps coming back for more. 

Its been quite awhile since we talked, but I recently saw on Facebook that he was very sick in the hospital after complications of a case of appendicitis. So, of course, I texted him to check on him and wish him well. And so it goes---now he's back to texting me constantly. 

I don't know. Its not like he's looking for booty all the time because this has gone regardless of my geographic locations, which, as we know, changes pretty frequently. He is the type of person I tried to leave behind in high school and yet, here it is, a full decade later and he's still poking around in my life.

Why do some people you love leave your life and others who you barely give two shits about stay forever? There's got to be some explanation for this. So, Guides, if you're out there tonight, please let me know what the purpose of this all is...what is the frickin' meaning of these people coming and going in my life. Turning 25 is stressful enough-- I think I have the right to know who's coming and going so I can prepare myself.

Alright, storm is over. Rant is over. I'm off to bed. 

We'll be back with regularly scheduled WTF Wednesday tomorrow...and it sure is a good one.


  1. preach! I'm glad we somehow found each other in this crazy thing called life ;]

  2. If it makes you feel better, I turned 28 in July and there are zero potential husbands in my life. I also just experienced the first of my exes marrying a girl who looks like me if I was on drugs :)