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Wednesday, August 1, 2012

WTF Wednesday

 Alright guys. Its hump day. Half way through the week. We're survivors waiting to become Weekend Warriors. Normally, I am at Ladies' Night at Blue Martini right now, drinking Key Lime Martini's until I can't see straight, but due to my new RAW VEG diet and my PhxBFF Tiffany's need to cut back on spending, we got cheap sushi and now we're in for the night. It also allows me to share our WTF Wednesday feature. LUCKY YOU.

So, I'm about to rant. 

As many of you know, I have a job that regularly makes me want to pull my eyelashes out repeatedly. While there are many perks to my job, like working from home and traveling to exotic corners off the world, the downside is that I deal primarily with complete idiots. Those who are not complete idiots are complete assholes.

Today's culprit is both an idiot and an asshole...the combo that makes me pull my hair and hyperventilate with frustrations (I'm not dramatic at all). I won't name names, because obviously I'm not trying to get fired or break laws or hurt feelings, but he's one of the people I managed and today made me want to hurt him...and myself. Not really, but I was miserable for the entire length of the day due to this situation.

I don't even know why I'm so emotionally involved with my job.  Most people get up for work, go there, do stuff, go home. I go to work and experience a plethora of emotions ranging in ecstasy to deep misery, all usually before 10am. I'm not the only one in my office who experience this either, so its not just me being crazy, which is what I generally chalk situation like this up to.

But I digress. So, this guy, he's a dude I manage. After our staff meeting, he's all "I need to talk to you about something important". Being the amazing and gentle manager I am, I pushed back my appointments to meet with him. 

He starts, "I've been thinking. I need work less hours."

Me, exasperated, "WHAT?!?!?!"

He says, "Yes, I'd like to cut down to a maximum of three hours a day. I was hoping you could hire someone to do my sales calls for me and I will do the rest".

Me, vomiting anger like a sorority girls at 8am the morning after, "You want to cut down from 40 hours a week to 15 hours a week. And you'd like me to hire someone else to do your job."

Him, "Well, yeah. 40 is too much for me".

Me: sputters, seizes and dies on the floor because I am so violently ill with rage.

So, basically, this guy wants me to hire someone to do his job for him and just work at his leisure. GUESS WHAT, SIR? Work is not a leisurely activity. I don't just leisurely get up at 5am and attend countless hours of meetings for my health daily. I do it because full time work is WHAT ADULTS IN THIS WORLD DO. 

They need money to support themselves, their family, their lifestyle, pay bills, pay rent, buy high heels and martinis, etc. How does one do that on 15 hours a week? And who lets their employees work the barest of all minimums???
I wish I could just pick and choose my hours. I wish I could pick and choose what meetings to attend and spend the rest of my day sitting on my ass eating caviar and drinking champagne. NOTICE: that's not how things work. Not under my management and pretty certain, not under anyone else's. 

Seems to me the solution is pretty clear here. It was clear in the moment and its still clear at I stewed over this dilemma for an entire day. Can you guys guess my conclusion?

I'll keep you updated on this over the next two weeks. 

//end WTF Wednesday


  1. Friggin Hilarious.,.. and NO NIKKI is not dramatic at ALL!! I know that jerk... he is located near a country that starts with the letter E.!!!

  2. So Nikki does this mean you're looking to hire someone? Because your little totally needs a job and is already used to doing everything you say with little to no direction or complaints.

    ....just saying.

  3. HAHA this guy is a wackadoodle. i love it. working with idiots is the WORST.