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Monday, August 13, 2012

Manic Monday: Tales of a Psycho Ex Girlfriend

You know what's better than being friends with all of your Boyfriend's friends? 

Stealing all of your Ex's friends after you break up.

Welcome back to Manic Monday: Tales of a Psycho Ex Girlfriend! I'm so glad you showed up for your weekly dose of crazy and I'm seriously ready to dish it out. Besides the fact that I'm running on 2 hours of sleep because I stayed up all night watching Shark Week, Mondays are always super busy in the office and I have to be a mega-bitch about my managers not sending in their HR reports for weeks on end, since its payroll time.

Besides all that, this past weekend, EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD decided to get engaged, namely my Facebook friends. While I am very happy for all of them, Facebook insists on rubbing it in my face repeatedly to remind me of my pathetic single status. No matter how many times I click the little X to get rid of the notification (Don't worry, I already congratulated them on their walls), it will not go away. So every time I log in to Facebook (approximately 7 million times a day), I see this:

Still love you, Steph and Sammy!

So, Monday is almost over but not complete with out a Tale from the Psycho Ex Girlfriend vault. Today isn't so much a story, but just the reality of the situation. I'm really frickin' likeable, and it goes without saying that I am far, far more likeable than the Ex. It was so amazing to meet all of his friends when we were dating and getting to know them. They quickly became my close friends, drinking buddies and even, roommate.

When we broke up, I feared that they were all going to side with him and I would loose the few good friends I had in Phoenix. I was even more terrified that I was going to be completely alone in Phoenix, without anyone to lean on at all. Needless to say, they all pretty much sided with me because he did a total jackass thing to me and nobody likes a jackass. Maybe that makes them bad friends, but hey, they were good friends to me.

This isn't the first time that I've used a break up to yield another group of friends. While in college, I had the same boyfriend for about 2.5 years. We lived together, had 100% mutual friends and did everything together, so when the break up happened---it was real bad. We had to split up friends, assets, etc...I can't even imagine how terrible a divorce would be after going through this break up. Really soon after our break up, he decided to start dating some freshman girl. I was clearly not pleased and set out on a warpath. Soon enough, they broke up, which had nothing to do with me. See an awesome opportunity, I swooped in to befriend this girl. Soon enough, we were cackling and hugging right in front of my college ex. He was less than pleased with us sharing stories of all the areas he lacked in. Needless to say, him and I are actually good friends now and I almost feel bad for being so manipulative at the time. But I found out later on that he also slept with one of my sorority sisters, so really, he deserved it in the end. Sorry Dude.

So, back to the present, after the Ex decided to be a huge asshole and caused the events leading up to our break up, I managed to gain a roommate, an amazing role model, 2 of the most fabulous men and one really moochy chick who isn't really my friend, but I tolerate her. I joke sometimes that I'm the President of the CB (my ex's initals) Forgotten Friends Club because I seriously acquired all of his former close friends. Part of this is because I live in the same complex as them, part is because he stopped talking with them, and part of that is because I AM REALLY FRICKIN' LIKABLE.

These are some of the Besties I got post break up:

Hello, Roommate.

We live in this place, isn't it amazing?

Note: The Ex wasn't invited to this partayyyy

If you're going to have a really bad break up, you might as well take something good from it. Some people take a pet. Some people take important life lessons. I take all my ex's friends, and seriously, its one of the best things that came out of my break up with the Ex. These people have been amazingly supportive and tons of fun during one of the toughest break ups I've been through. Call it psycho, but hell, it is well worth it.

1 comment:

  1. Haha I took a pet. And I may even try to DATE one of HIS Ex's. Winning all around :)