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Tuesday, May 10, 2016

JustFab May Favs and Plus Size Apparel Launch!

I just wanted to pop in and share a few of my favorite pieces from JustFab’s spring/summer collection because they just launched their plus size apparel line (!!!!) and it is so frickin’ amazing. While not everything is available in 1xl-3xl, a bunch of great selections are! Kudos to JustFab for being so body positive in 2016!

A few of my JustFab Favorites (clockwise from top):
My personal favorite from this bunch is the Sheer Wide Leg Romper in Olive—which is now sold out (boo!) but still available in black, in all sizes, including the plus size line!

I tried this out as a demo model for the plus line (as I am just on the cusp of a 1x at JustFab). This really is the perfect addition to any summer wardrobe for us curvy ladies! This is super tall girl friendly-- the length of bodice is comfortable and I was still able to have plenty of length for wearing some cute vintage leather platform heels! I loved pairing this with a simple dangling necklace, my beach hat and a big pair of sunglasses as I took this jumper out to brunch! The wide legs are very flattering and the sheer panel is such a cute peekaboo! It is chic and very flattering. 
If you are not super busty, I recommend ordering a size down because the top has quite a bit of room-- I prefer a slightly tighter fit on my upper half since I am not as busty myself. The material is lightweight and high quality. Easy to wash and hang dry. Straps are adjustable as well-- easy to pull on and take off. I get compliments for days when I wear it! Thanks for styling another great piece, JF!

What were your favorites from May at JustFab?

If you haven’t tried JustFab yet, please check it out! There’s never an obligation to buy and nearly every item (yes—clothing, purses, heels, and more) are $39.95 or less, with FREE shipping and FREE returns.

Please use my referral link for your purchase and show me some Sole Sister love! >>> http://www.justfab.com/invite/ndillz/

Time to update that Summer Wardrobe (with alittle help from ShoeDazzle...)

This month’s ShoeDazzle collection geared up for summer, which is perfect considering it is well over 100 degrees here in Phoenix already. I was looking for a few select pieces to add to my already WAY TO ROBUST closet of warm weather clothing. Mostly, I wanted pieces that I could mix and match to create a day to evening look without fully changing throughout the day. 

Day to Evening Summer Collection (clockwise from top):

I wanted to start with a basic, casual linen romper for the base of my outfit. Black is classic and easily transitions from day to evening. The cross strap back adds a really sexy detail while the slouchy fit can be adjusted with the belted waist. The light material makes it totally summer ready. For the day, a cute bejeweled flat like Nixie adds just a pop of color for running errands or grabbing lunch in a hurry. The tropical print is to die for! Otto in taupe is a neutral, mid-size bag, just bigger than a clutch. The golden chain strap adds a luxe detail which helps make this bag last all day and all night without going out of style. For the evening, adding the Linen Blazer in Flame and Shonda take this outfit from casual daytime to fiery night! If it is still a bit cool, this summer blazer will add sophistication to this outfit as well as keep you cozy! The orange details in Shonda match perfectly—who can resist a gorgeous neutral sky high heel, anyways? I’m obsessed with Shonda’s sexy silhouette with this romper—Makes me want to go and dance!

What were your favorites from May at ShoeDazzle?

If you haven’t tried ShoeDazzle yet, please check it out! There’s never an obligation to buy and nearly every item (yes—clothing, purses, heels, and more) are $39.95 or less, with FREE shipping and FREE returns. 

Please use my referral link for your purchase and show me some Sole Sister love! >>> http://www.shoedazzle.com/invite/ndillz/

Monday, April 4, 2016

Not So Single Girl Review: Ralph Lauren Tender Romance Perfume

Love this perfume for the summer! It is really light and a slightly sweet floral scent. It isn't overpowering and is super romantic. I wore it on the wedding day and have worn it on date nights since. I also have very sensitive skin and it does not irritate it at all. I really love this perfume! Highly recommended for any lady looking to add a special bit of romance to their daily look. 

Originally, I tested Ralph Lauren Tender Romance for free, but all opinions are my own.

Monday, April 6, 2015

I'm not going to ugly cry down the aisle.

Confession: I'm an ugly crier.

I'm not kidding, its terrible looking. My face gets bright red, my eyes turn bloodshot and don't even get me stared on how big my mouth actually becomes when I'm heaving for breaths between sobs. Oh its bad, and I admit this.

I'd also like to admit a shit ton more sensitive than I thought I was. For example, last week I cried watching the ending of the Fast and the Furious 7, where they do the tribute to Paul Walker. I couldn't even help myself. But at least that was acceptable, because its sad as fuck that Paul Walker died and that the movie ended before Vin Diesel took his shirt off...but I digress.

I cry a lot. My recent list of crying episodes include (but is not limited to):
  • I cried because the Biore pore strip I used on Sunday was horrific looking and I thought I had nice skin. I cried in surprise at the shock of my surprise 27th birthday party.
  • The end of the movie 27 Dresses
  • I cried when I stubbed my toe last week. 
  •  How I Met Your Mother series finale.
  •  Star Trek: Voyager series finale.
  • I cried in happiness when I recently received receive a ballin' engagement present from my Phi Mu big sister, Shari. 
  • I cry every single time I drop my mom off at the airport.
  • I cry every single time my mom drops me off at the airport.
  • I cried because I know I need dental work and I'm scared
  • I cried because I know how expensive said dental work is and I want to spend money on my wedding.
  • I cried because so many of my sorority sisters are coming to a bachelorette weekend in DC because I'm getting married and I feel so spoiled/honored/elated/over whelmed by their excitement.
  • I cried because my venue doesn't want me to bring in an outfit vendor to provide the gold chiavari chairs of my dreams. 
Basically, I am the worst. Hot mess express.

So, because I cry all the time, it will be no shock to you that whenever the song I am walking down the aisle to comes on Pandora Wedding Station (aka the only Pandora station I listen to), I immediately start balling at the thought of walking down the aisle with the song playing. Just the opening notes give me the chills, followed immediately by tears welling in the eyes.

This cannot happen on my wedding day. Delicate, pretty tears, fine. But what happens now, #no. I am paying wayyyyy too much for a photographer to ugly cry my ass down the aisle.

So, as a result of my visceral reaction to this song, I am conditioning myself to NOT ugly cry, like Pavlov's dogs. I'm doing this by listening to the song at various times of the day, during various activities. Here have been my results thus far:

First time John & I heard it together:
We were in Home Depot duplicating keys (tres romantic). I started getting tears in my eyes and stated how much I love the song. Redneck lady behind us shouts, "AINT THIS THE SONG FROM TWILIGHT?!". I immediately give her the death glare and the tears stop.

Listening to the song in the car on the way to work the Monday after getting engaged:
Sobbing uncontrollably. Make up everywhere.

Listening to the song approximately 75-100 times since:

Listening to the song while preparing Easter dinner over this past weekend: 
Light, controlled sobbing.

So, see? I've had heaps of success controlling my ugly crying! I'm going to totally have this down by September, no problemo, a'ok, right-o. Just need another 300-450 listens. Yep, I CAN DO THIS.

I'll let you know how that goes.

Friday, April 3, 2015

Shed reveals how to be a great bride and even better bridesmaid.

Thanks to my funniest friend/fellow blogger/bridemaid Shed for taking over today. 

She's the best.

Hello! Bridesmaid Shed, here. I’m by no means as seasoned a bridal attendant as the {Not So} Single Girl, but I got married in 2013, and now I’m honored to be a member of our favorite wedding blogger’s bridal party. So, today I am going to teach you 5 ways to be a great bride, or an excellent bridesmaid!

1. Bridal party honors are not tit-for-tat. If you were in a friend’s wedding 10 years ago, and you don’t have the same relationship today, you do not need to ask her to be your bridesmaid. There is nothing wrong with that. Also, everyone’s bridal party is different. Some brides only have relatives as bridesmaids, while others have a mix of friends and relatives, or just friends. Some brides have no attendants at all. If the bride decides to have only her sisters or cousins in her wedding party, do not take offense even if you are close friends. Who comprises the bridal party is the bride’s decision.

2. Both brides and potential bridesmaids need to remember this: Don’t assume. Brides: Don’t assume that someone knows they are in your wedding. Potential bridesmaids: Don’t assume you are in someone’s wedding. It’s very important to formally ask someone to be in your wedding party. If the bride or the potential bridesmaid is unsure, it can create an awkward situation.

3. Planning a wedding is stressful enough; a bride does not want flaky attendants to make things more complicated. If you’re not sure that you can fulfill your duties as a bridesmaid, due to time or money constraints, be sure to give the bride a clear answer as early as possible.

If you are asked to be a bridesmaid, but ultimately decide that you are unable to, there are many other ways you can be involved in your friend or relative’s wedding. You can do a reading during the ceremony, you can act as an usher and help guests find seats, or you can escort a grandparent down the aisle. Your friend may ask you to give a toast at the reception. There’s an infinite number of ways you can be a special part of a wedding; just talk to the bride. She will appreciate whatever you two come up with, whether you help her pick out d├ęcor, or simply attend the wedding as a guest.

4. Bridesmaids, think of the bride as your boss, and you’re her employee during the wedding planning process. Hopefully you like the bride a little more than you like your boss at work! Either way, remember, the bride is dealing with a lot of stress, and needs you to help her, not make things more stressful. Be sure to occasionally ask, “What can I do to help?” She’ll be glad you did, even if the answer for the moment is “nothing.”

5. Also remember that you’re going to be part of the bride’s wedding memories forever. If you’re mad at each other the day of the wedding for some reason, she will remember that every time she looks her wedding photos. Speaking of photos, if you plan to make any extreme changes to your appearance right before the wedding, it’s best to make sure the bride is okay with it. She may love your new green ombre hair, but it’s always important to ask first.

Keep open communication with the bride, and the rest of the bridesmaids to make sure everyone is happy on the day of the wedding. Don’t be disappear and be unreachable. Don’t complain about the dress, shoes, venue, order of the processional, etc. You’ve been asked to be in this wedding because you are an important part of the bride’s life, and you should respect her choices. It’s her wedding, after all. However, you should be able to talk out any major concerns. If you can’t afford to go to Cancun for a bachelorette weekend or to buy Jimmy Choo shoes for the wedding, talk to the bride about it. Any reasonable bride will understand and help you work something out.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Sorry, Your Redneck Wedding isn't Elegant

Just own your what your wedding is. Stop pretending.

So, I belong to a Facebook group that is an offset of the popular WeddingWire forums. The group is used primarily for women reselling their used wedding items after their wedding. Its a great place right now if you love burlap, lace and DIY wooden signs (which is on trend with everyone's love of the rustic wedding). The group is an interesting assortment of women from all walks of life, having weddings of all themes, colors and budgets. Everyone is looking for a a good deal and the admins keep vendors off the page, which is pretty refreshing. I've never personally purchased anything but I enjoying see the posts from a fly on the wall perspective more than anything.

Usually, I keep my mouth shut when someone posts "like real" blue plastic roses or tries to sequin table runners for twice retail price, alas a post caught my eye over the weekend that I just couldn't ignore.

So many feelings about this post. I just could not even. Then shade got thrown. It happened. I'm not proud of it, but seriously, people need to just own their wedding choices and stop pretending to be something they are not.

The definition of Redneck is:

1. an uneducated white farm laborer, especially from the South.
2. a bigot or reactionary, especially from the rural working class.
Tell me what a theme with that definition looks like. It doesn't event make sense. Is the wedding on a farm? Will there be racial slurs in the vows? Banjos playing? Confederate flags?
Other group members encourages the original poster to elaborate on her "theme" ideas and she mentioned she was considering purchasing some items from the Oriental Trading Company Camo Wedding Collections.

WHY DOES THIS EXIST? Oh god. It hurts my eyes. Whatever. To each their own.

There is literally no way to have both a redneck and elegant wedding. There is not. Just no. And that is okay-- have your redneck wedding decorated in full camo print, but don't pretend its elegant.

The point of all of this is, if you're going to have a themed wedding-- own it for what it is. Don't tack on extra words because you think a wedding should be elegant, classic, timeless, fashionable-- whatever it is. Take your redneck wedding and own it-- whatever it is.

I'm totally guilty of this with the descriptive term Avant Garde. Most people don't even know what this means, so for those who don't, it means "new and unusual or experimental ideas, especially in the arts, or the people introducing them". I so badly wanted an avant garde wedding. I said it approximately 700 times when looking for a wedding dress. 

Let me show you what Avant Garde wedding dresses look like in practice:

 Can I just say that I am absolutely not looking to wear an Avant Garde wedding dress? In the end, I chose a wedding dress that was most certainly not Avant Garde, but was my style-- whatever that style is categorized as. I think I picked a unique, classic wedding dress that looks like me and reflects my style, but its a wedding dress....not something off a runway.

That said, nothing about my wedding is Avant Garde. I've accepted this even thought I regularly used the word to describe what I wanted in a wedding at the beginning. I'm learning to own the fact that I'm having a pretty traditional wedding, with a bit of my own flare, but you'll definitely know you're at a wedding...there isn't any experimental bikram ceremony yoga, a bridal march played by didgeridoos, no bridal party fashion show or otherwise off beat, Avant Garde aspects.

So, I stopped calling my wedding Avant Garde and owned it. Its my traditional, royal fairytale wedding. That's the theme. No better or worse than "redneck", but it is what it is. I'm not pretending its anything else.

Its your wedding, do what you want. Not everyone is going to love it. I will never be encouraging of including camo in a wedding, but that's what great about planning your wedding-- you get to do you! Whatever you want! Its your day. So do it. Own it and have no regrets.

But seriously, no camo.

Monday, March 30, 2015

5 Reasons I Hate Talking About My Own Wedding

Discussing your own wedding planning is the worst.

For the better part of the last decade, I have dreamed, imagined, discussed, re-dreamed, planned a fairytale wedding. Because of my own passion for event planning, which magically enough, I managed to turn into a fairly successful career, and because I'm basically a professional bridesmaid, I have no shortage of resources, ideas and inspirations for my own wedding. You'd think, with all that buzzing in my head, that I would be super keen to discuss my own wedding plans at length with anyone who would listen.

But I don't. I literally hate talking about my own wedding plans. Here's why:

No matter what, I get deemed a bridezilla.

Even when I'm trying to be ironic, in conversation or on social media, I get accused of being a bridezilla. For example, I posted the following status regarding invitation stamps to Facebook on Saturday:

Like, okay, clearly it was in jest. It wasn't even a real point of discussion in our household-- it was quite humorous in fact. The result ended up in 24 comments, mostly from former or fellow brides saying "no one cares about stamps" or "you're so ridiculous to think of spending $200 on stamps". So, as usual, I am the unreasonable bridezilla. I own that name most of the time, but in this case, I really was making a joke.

Also, I'd like to note that $200 is not unreasonable for stamps, if you need 150 stamps, at 70 cents each. Paying a little extra for something glorious looking is not unreasonable. And yes, I do look at stamps.

I don't care that "nobody" cares about that detail. I care.

I guess this is sort of an extension of being constantly deemed a bridezilla, but I feel like in the world of Pinterest, many brides get caught up in details. Some matter, some don't. It actually doesn't matter if you think details are important or not, because its my wedding and I do care about them. Most recently, my grandmother told me that it was ridiculous to purchase table overlays for the ivory banquet tablecloths at our venue because nobody cares about tablecloths. Well, I do. And its my wedding. So we're buying champagne sequin and purple satin overlays. They're going on the tables and its going to make the white tent our wedding is in pop in opulence just how I want it.

Also, still trying to figure out who all these "nobody" people are. Case and point: I spend a little extra on my Save the Dates to buy purple monograms envelopes and printed oval glossy addresses labels with a violet and lavender frame. It was such a simple detail that many would assume "nobody" would care about. That said, I got tons of compliments on them.

People did notice. Sometimes they just don't know its the details they're noticing.

Nobody cares about your wedding as much as you 

You will always care more about your own wedding than anyone else, because, well, its your special day and you are spending a ton of money and time to painstakingly plan and host an extravagant, once in a life time event. It is a life consuming task that is part of your every day for over a year. Of course its important to you...but don't expect everyone to care that much.

I know that I care the most about my wedding, but that doesn't keep my feelings from being hurt that it isn't everyone's priority. Its hurtful when my already married friends don't inquire about my wedding or seem excited after I was in their wedding and planned all the "details" they have now deemed totally unimportant post-wedding. Its hurtful when family members aren't on board with your color theme or  bridesmaids don't want to wear gold shoes.

Because of this, I just don't want to talk about my wedding with certain people any more. They never have anything nice to say when I do, so why continue to get my feeling hurt?

I remember what its like to be the constant sounding board.

I've been a bridesmaid a lot. I love weddings and I love the smallest of details. And I am more than happy to listen to anyone and everyone's wedding plans. I've spend probably months, if not years, of my life in the weeds of wedding plans, listening, advising and having my hands covered in glitter and glue for days. But not everyone is that into weddings all the time.

I remember being a bridesmaid while I was going through a particularly shitty stretch of dating and temporary broke-ness (primarily due to flying around the country attending weddings). The bride was so wrapped up in the details of her wedding-- she discussed nothing else with me. She never asked how I was, anything about my life, etc. And I just remember thinking, "Seriously, can you just ask what's going on with my life, for once?!". This isn't unique to one person or one situation, really. The point is everyone cares most about their own wedding and its easy to get wrapped up in it. Its not intentional or evil spirited-- it happens to the best of us.

I really don't want to be that bride. I don't generally bring up the wedding unless they ask. Because I don't want my friends to feel like the constant sounding board that I was in 2013-- left asking, "why am I doing this? This person doesn't even care about who I am anymore. They just care about their wedding and what I can do for it."

I literally don't care about anyone's opinion.

I will preface this point with the fact that I have some amazingly supportive friends who are a constant source of support, positivity and sunshine in my life, no matter what the topic. I don't care to abuse those relationships with wedding banter, but I do get excited to discuss some wedding aspects with them at time. Its still fun and exciting to share, just not as frequently as I thought I would want to.

But, this is what it all comes down to-- I literally just don't care about anyone's opinion regarding my wedding. I don't care if my grandmother hates my color scheme. I don't care if my bridesmaid thinks that having pocket invites isn't necessary. I don't want to hear that no one is going to return an RSVP card. I don't give any fucks that someone on Facebook thinks spending a little extra on stamps is absolutely ridiculous. Sorry you don't think purple and gold is classy. Sorry that you don't think centerpieces add to decor. Its my wedding and I'm doing what I think is perfect for our day to make it the very best day. Everyone has their own definition. This is mine.

I encourage fellow brides to take these thoughts to heart as you plan your wedding. Not everyone will be on your side or share your excitement. Everyone has their own shit-- the wedding is your shit. No matter who the sourpusses are in your life, there will be amazing and supportive people who will want to hear about your life, including wedding plans. And its okay to revel in your wedding plans with your support system. Its okay to ask for advice from these people. Seek them out, but don't abuse them. Take advice others give you with a grain of salt. Remember, its your day.

Make it what you want without regreat, because you're the one who remember the ugly stamps 20 years from now.